My first stage appearance!
Please Please Me was the first thing I’d ever heard by The Beatles. It had something; it really seemed to stand out.
Although I would still have been following The Shadows, The Beatles now became my main focus of musical attention… and subsequently many of the other new groups of the day. My enthusiastic new disposition led to the performance of a skit at the school end-of-year concert, in which The Cockroaches were born.
The Cockroaches Act 1
Scene 1
[The curtains part to reveal a drumset (well, a single bass drum anyway) with the legend “The Cockroaches” emblazoned across the front. A CARETAKER wearing a light brown work coat and flat cap is lethargically sweeping the stage area in front of the ‘drum’. He is mumbling to himself bemoaning the thankless nature of his dull vocation. There being no shortage of eager volunteers willing to be recruited into playing a bit part with The Cockroaches!]
CARETAKER: Well, I did have a line for the caretaker to recite, bemoaning the thankless nature of his dull vocation, which I fail to remember now, but it was a line with basically him bemoaning the thankless nature of his dull vocation.
[JOHN, a member of The Cockroaches, runs from the wings onto the stage berating the CARETAKER.]
JOHN: Quick! C’mon, get out the road and make way for the fabulous Cockroaches!
[JOHN shoos the caretaker off the stage then returns to the wings to lead The Cockroaches onto the stage. JOHN and two of the others are carrying pretend guitars. The group take their stage positions; DANNY, the tallest, stands behind the ‘drum’ whilst the other two boys with guitars form a line beside JOHN, facing the audience.]
Scene 2
[During scene 2, the ‘band’ sings three Beatles songs acappella whilst playing away on their silent ‘pretend’ home made instruments. During the third number, an almighty stramash breaks out amongst the band. Chaos ensues and the curtains slowly close!]
Scene 3
[The curtains open to reveal The Cockroaches and their instruments lying in an unconscious pile on the floor. Enter stage left the CARETAKER, walking very slowly sweeping the stage before him, mumbling.]
CARETAKER: The line with me bemoaning the thankless nature of my dull vocation.
[Curtain. Rapturous applause. Curtain call etc.]